so... its been almost a year since i've been on here. i honestly forgot i had this blog. but a friend asked me to read hers and it reminded me i had it. so i think i'm going to try it again. blogging i mean.
so much has happened since the last time i was on here. reading my old posts reminded me of how far i have come since then. but yet it also reminded me of how far i have yet to go. I want more.
the title comes from the song by tonic. you know the song from the late 90s. lately i've been nostalgic about my music. searching itunes for late 90s alternative songs. the stuff that was on the radio when i was in grade school. not sure where that is coming from.
lately i've been feeling like i can get so much more from life that what i have now. and don't get me wrong. what i have now is so much better than what i had one year ago today. but maybe just maybe there is more to this life. maybe i don't have to settle.
thats what i have done my whole life is settle. and i don't want to settle anymore. not only do i want more. but i deserve more. i have some of the best friends a girl can have. i have a job that makes me happy. i have a job that i wake up for in the morning and think about when i'm falling asleep. (does that make me a workaholic?? maybe i'm coming to the realization that i am). I have a volunteer positon that i love (on most days). And i'm busy. busy 7 days a week. maybe i need to slow down. but more possibly until that day comes when i am forced to slow down i am going to want more.
last year i thought that the only thing in the world that was going to make me happy was a relationship. but i was wrong. there is so much more to life than being stuck in a go nowhere relationship with a man who has fathered a child with another woman while you were with him. maybe someday a relationship will come my way but i'm not in anyway out there really looking for one. there are days when i think about joining a dating site for fun. but then i think about it and the truth is i don't know when i would date. i just don't really have time anymore.
i now know that when the time is right, i will get a boyfriend. but i'm not out there actively perusing, fishing for one. because for the first time in probably 8 years, maybe even longer, i'm happy. and not in the grin while your fighting back tears way. but in the i'm happy and not hiding my feelings behind my relationship with food way. but i'll get into that complicated relationship another day. for now i'm going to bed because i'll never get up in the morning.
if anyone reads this. i just want to say thank you. thank you for being interested enough to read. i don't know if i know you or not. but know that you are impacting someone just by taking the time to read their blog. so thanks.
