i was a flight risk with a fear of falling

from taylor swift's new song mine.  can't wait to hear it when the whole album comes out. 

i can totally relate to this.  that's what i feel i am when i'm living my life a flight risk.  i'm also afraid of just about everything.  hence the panic attacks. 

i think my cards are starting to fall into place.  i finally heard from him.  it took a brave step on my part to make a second move.  but i made it and now we're going to be friends and see what else happens. 

now just to get the rest of my life in order.  if only i could get my blood tests to quit coming back funny.  another weird result. another possible tumor.  but this time i'm not going to worry.  what ever happens happens and its meant to be. 

that's the thing with me now.  no more catastrophic living.  i'm just going to live my life as if it were perfect.  as if things were going according to the plan i had laid out for myself. 

i'm working on writing my eating history when i'm done i'll post it here.

by the way i don't feel like a flight risk with a fear of falling any more.  that was me but not anymore.  my panic attacks have slowed down and things are looking good now.  i can calm myself down without needing anything else.  we'll see and hope my good luck streak will keep up.  maybe another post today.  maybe not.  we'll see but definately another one tomorrow.